Sunday, April 8, 2012

Recall Notice

     The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

*Some of the symptoms include*:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

     The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. The Repair Technician*, JESUS, *has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
     The number to call for repair in all areas is: *P-R-A-Y-E-R*. Once connected, please upload your burden of *SIN* through the *REPENTANCE*procedure. Next, download *ATONEMENT *from the Repair Technician, *Jesus*, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, *Jesus* will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the *B.I.B.L.E.* (Basic Instructions Before
Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

*WARNING:* Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems
too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently
impounded. For free emergency service, call on *Jesus*.

*DANGER:* The human being units not responding to this recall action will
have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to
enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for
your attention!

*- GOD*

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important
recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

Thanks for the reminder, mom

No comments: