Sunday, April 8, 2012

Recall Notice

     The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

*Some of the symptoms include*:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

     The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. The Repair Technician*, JESUS, *has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
     The number to call for repair in all areas is: *P-R-A-Y-E-R*. Once connected, please upload your burden of *SIN* through the *REPENTANCE*procedure. Next, download *ATONEMENT *from the Repair Technician, *Jesus*, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, *Jesus* will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the *B.I.B.L.E.* (Basic Instructions Before
Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

*WARNING:* Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems
too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently
impounded. For free emergency service, call on *Jesus*.

*DANGER:* The human being units not responding to this recall action will
have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to
enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for
your attention!

*- GOD*

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important
recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

Thanks for the reminder, mom

Final Inspection

The Soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass..
'Step forward now, Soldier ,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?'
The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear..
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears
If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.
'Step forward now, you Soldier,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell.'
Author Unknown~

The Other Side

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, 'Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.'

Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.'

'You don't know? You're a Christian man, and don't know what's on the other side?'

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, 'Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.'

A really good way to look at it. Thanks for the reminder, mom.